Monday, December 8, 2008

The Skunk List: Worst Beers of 2008

Since we're hitting the close of the year, and since I love ranking things, I thought I could share some of the dozens of horrible beer experiences I've had this year. By my latest count, I've tried 247 beers this year, and tasted 26 more home brews or samples that I couldn't officially tally. Of those 247, 46 have received 1.5 stars or less on my five-star scale. Moral: when you're starting a lifelong beer project, there's going to be some severe skunk along the way.

Thankfully, I've gotten many of the classic skunk out of the way. Anheuser-Busch and Miller (Somehow Coors only sent one beer to this list) paved a new trail of putridity, but it's no fun to put Miller High Life Lite and Bud Ice in a worst-of list. So, barring one extraordinary exception, the 20 brews from the Beasts of Beer simply get an honorable mention nod. And here they are, with additional tasting notes from my original journal injected where I feel compelled.


Michelob Marzen: "If I bought the sampler and had three of these, two would never get consumed."
Michelob Pale Ale: "Says it's dry-hopped--possibly with garbage."
Michelob Golden Draft Light
Bud Light: "Honestly, not the worst I've had. Got me through a boring wedding."
Budweiser: "Haven't had many Buds lately. Not the worst."
Bud Light Lime: "Deserves no more ink than this."
Busch Light: "As far as mega-lites go, I like it."
Budweiser Select: "Yikes. Went from a 1 star to a .5 real quick.
Landshark Lager: "The domestic Corona."


Milwaukee's Best Light: "Pretty much as gross as it gets."
Miller Lite Amber: "Tastes like Miller Lite. Stay away."
Miller Lite: "You know the drill. For beer pong only."
Blatz Light: "Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever tasted."
Red Dog: "Only decent after 12 Blatz Lights."
Miller Genuine Draft 64: "This is NOT a beer. Tastes like river water. An embarrassment to men."
Special Export Light: "The original case race beer. It's bad, but not Blatz bad."
Miller High Life: "Champagne of beers only tolerable after winning softball league."
Hamm's Special Light: "Stunningly, not bad. A shock."


Coors Light: "The worst of the lights."

There were some mega-brewery offers that limped to the two-star or above level, so I'll give some credit here for those efforts.

2 Star
Pabst Blue Ribbon, Miller. It was one of the first beers I rated, had to leave room for a basement.
Rolling Rock, Anheuser-Busch. Barely reaching the almost tolerable stage.
Michelob Amber Bock, Anheuser-Busch. "This is what people who think they like real beer drink. It's not real beer, it's crap."
George Killian's Irish Red, Coors. A decent representation of a style I don't care for.

2.5 Star:
Shock Top Belgian White, Anheuser-Busch. Not a good Belgian white, but a more drinkable beer than most A-B.
Blue Moon Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale, Coors. Not a good pumpkin ale, but very drinkable.

3.5 Star:
Blue Moon, Coors. This was a great beer. In college. Has the sentimental value on its side.

Tomorrow I'll begin the real bottom ten in earnest. One a day.

1 comment:

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