Beers of the Year: 1. Orval

Brewery: Brasserie dOrval

Style: Belgian Ale

ABV: 6.2%

Rating: 5 stars


A complete sensory experience. The color of this beer suggests something completely different from the actual taste. It's very golden, not unlike your average mega-beer, but with a much stronger head. But the smells that emanate from that golden liquid are simply heavenly.

I got a huge crisp apple cider whiff on my first smell, and there's definitely a large fruit presence to go with some subtle hops. It smells delicious and interesting, and if it's possible for a beer to smell refreshing, this one does.

The first shocker in the taste is how dry this beer is. It's almost like drinking a dry champagne. Heavy fruit flavor, but with the sparkling cling of champagne. Really easy to swish around your mouth and swallow, and seeing that I prefer dryness to sweetness, it fit my needs perfectly.

This beer has it all, down even to its presentation. Its uniquely-shaped bottle is appealing, and if served correctly in an Orval tulip glass, it's a can't miss. Orval will quench and refresh you, give you enough alcohol presence at the back to satisfy those needs, and won't bog you down or take you two hours to finish. You probably will want to make it last that long, though.

Beers of the Year: 2. Bell's Hopslam

Brewery: Bell's, Kalamazoo, Michigan

Style: Double India Pale Ale

ABV: 10%

Rating: 5 Stars


My original review:


This is a beer I had been coveting since summer, having started my beer journey after its availability ended. I thought I would have to wait until next January to try it, as it's only available for a month and a half at the beginning of the year. However, I was delighted to see it on the bottle list at the Blue Nile, an Ethiopian restaurant in Minneapolis. Why was this beer so sought after? For one, Bell's is one of the best breweries in the country, and its wide availability in Minnesota has allowed me to sample many of their outstanding options. Secondly, Imperial IPAs are without question my favorite style of beer to date. You get the intense hop taste on the front, with the monster alcohol kick at the back. You can usually sip them, enjoy the taste, and feel it at the end. True, a Hopslam is gonna set you back $7 or so, as most DIPAs will, but you get the equivalent of two beers in one tasty snifter.

So, did Hopslam deliver?

The color of the beer is the first key. This one was that beautiful deep amber--darker than the bug in the rock amber--sort of like a harvest moon color. That's a good sign. It's a color that just looks enticing.

The aroma was phenomenal. Yes, there were the immediate hops that one would expect from a beer of this variety, and yes, there were citrusy notes that again, are expected. But there was a sweetness there as well. The beer is brewed with honey, and being able to find that scent in a powerful beer says a lot about the brewing. It smelled balanced.

The taste. I'll refrain from going into any flowershop or produce aisle metaphors here, but my first contact with Hopslam was as good as any I've had. Again, the honey is crucial, as it balances out the roof-of-the-mouth dryness that comes with these bitter hops. It sticks to the inside of your mouth, but is wiped away by the sweet honey. Magical.

Without question, Bell's Hopslam was one of the three or four best beers I've had. I look forward to buying it in bulk come January 2009.

Beers of the Year: 3. Surly Furious

Brewery: Surly, Brooklyn Center, Minnesota

Style: India Pale Ale

ABV: 6%

Rating: 5 stars



Hard to knock anything about this beer. This one really put Surly on the map a couple years back, when it was hard to find. Now that it's available at most decent liquor stores and on tap in many bars, I feel like sometimes I take for granted just how good it is.

The color, for one, is unsurpassed. A delicious deep amber; close to red but with that rusty orange shine that almost certainly means good things are to come. Really nice head, and one that clings and stays as the glass empties. And of course, it has that Surly dry-hopped smell.

The brewers say that the key to this beer is the Golden Promise malt, a delicately cared-for barley from Scotland that gives this beer such intense hops. I guess I can't disagree there. The hops come from somewhere anyway.

Furious has the perfect blend of bright citrus burst, dry sticky mouthfeel and bitter pine swallow. There isn't any residual spoon left behind here. It's smooth. This in fact may be my favorite beer, but its availability taints its brilliance just slightly. For the price, though, it can't be beat. If I was dropped in a store with all the beer in the world and told I could spend my last $10 on any one six-pack (or four-pack in this case), I would immediately go for Surly Furious.

Beers of the Year: 4. Goose Island Imperial IPA

Brewery: Goose Island, Chicago, Illinois

Style: Imperial IPA

ABV: 9.2%

Rating: 5 stars

Whoa. You want an explosion of flavorful hops, this is your beer. Three kinds of hops: Tettnang, Simcoe and Cascade give this beer power and potency in every swallow. I wouldn't recommend this beer for a Bud-lover, but if you think you like hoppiness, this beer will either confirm or overturn your feelings.

The hops are there up front, but where this beer stands out is after it slides down your throat. There is no residual metallic taste that can sometime rear its ugly head at a beer's finish. It goes down smoothly, piney and sharp, and maintains a balance throughout each and every sip. This beer is an accomplishment.

Beers of the Year: 5. Delirium Tremens

Brewery: Browerij Huyghe, Melle, Belgium

Style: Belgian Strong Ale

ABV: 8.5%

Rating: 5 stars

One of the few beers on this list I'd had prior to 2008. This was the first really good, highly respected beer I ever had, and perhaps its sentimental worth makes me overvalue it a bit. Even so, it's a delicious beer.

It is outstanding on tap, better than it is in a bottle for sure. This beer is very complex, and I dare anyone to try to identify all of the fruity, sweet components. I'd have a hard time denying any detected flavor by another taster. I lean most toward an apricot flavor, with some subtle banana toward the end of the slurp. It's creamy but not sticky. Strong but not overbearing. Well-balanced but pungent. Overrated or not, this one's a keeper.

Beers of the Year: 6. Southern Tier Choklat

Brewery: Southern Tier, Lakewood, New York

Style: Imperial Stout

ABV: 11%

Rating: 5 stars

One of the first beers I rated this year, and it set a standard that wasn't easy to match. We must remember, when I started this project, I'd had some great beers, but I wasn't paying attention to the innovation going on. This beer clued me in.

My original synopsis from February 23: "Amazing. Smells, looks and tastes like a thick chocolate milk. With a kick, of course. Unrivaled chocolate flavor. I don't even love chocolate, but I love this beer."

It's true; I don't like chocolate all that much. I don't have a sweet tooth. But an 11% chocolate beer is hard not to appreciate. Southern Tier is the most creative brewery I sampled this year and most of the time their risks pay off. I would recommend this beer even to non-beer drinkers. It may take you an hour and a half to drink, but you'll be feeling great afterward.

Beers of the Year: 7. Tyranena Scurvy IPA

Brewery: Tyranena, Lake Mills, Wisconsin

Style: India Pale Ale

ABV: 6.5%

Rating: 4.5 stars


Tyranena made a strong second-half push to be in the running for Brewery of the Year, and this beer was the flagship. It has all the best characteristics of a juicy IPA--hops up front, bitter pines in the back, but the separation is in the middle. Scurvy IPA is loaded with orange flavor, thanks to the orange peels introduced in the brewing process.

I'm usually not too hard to please when it comes to IPAs, so this ranking reflects that in a way, but Tyranena deserved to be rewarded for the half-dozen excellent brews they put out this year. The Scurvy was part of their Brewers Gone Wild! series, one that produced some of the most potent beers of the season. No surprise, the IPA was my favorite.

It has since disappeared from shelves, so get your hands on this one if you see it. Otherwise, wait 'til next summer and buy a four-pack of this, and every other Brewers Gone Wild! offering.

Beers of the Year: 8. North Coast Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout

Brewery: North Coast, Fort Bragg, California

Style: Russian Imperial Stout

ABV: 9%

Rating: 4.5 stars


This is definitely the age of the Russian Imperial Stout. Check any beer review website or ask your local craft beer store clerk which beers are hot. Stouts are the rage. Maybe it's because beer people were tired of being upstaged and outclassed by wine snobs, and they wanted to showcase beers that can be consumed like wine, sip by sip over the course of an evening. Stouts are the ticket to that ride, and Old Rasputin does the job as well as any.

I liked quite a few of these imperials this year, including Bell's Expedition Stout, Surly Darkness and many of the specialty stouts put out by Southern Tier and other breweries. I chose Ol Raspy because it was one of the first I had, and the aforementioned breweries each have a beer (or more) I had rated higher. By default almost, but taking nothing away from this outstanding brew, North Coast finds its way into the top ten.

As I alluded to earlier before veering off, these dense, hearty beers are meant to be enjoyed gradually. If a Miller Lite drinker attacked this beer with the same vigor as they would a homecoming kegger, the results would be disappointing. Each sip has many stages and should be enjoyed on the nose, lips, tongue, roof of the mouth and throat. I especially enjoy the buttery coating left in the crevices of your mouth.

This beer is--buzzword alert!--smooth, it's rich, and above all, it's tasty. It can stand alone and doesn't need to be used to rinse your mouth after a big swallow of food. The taste evolves as the beer warms. The sharp sting down the throat is most evident when cold, but the sweet gooeyness is best enjoyed warm.

If you want to sit down, engage in conversation with friends, and delight in a warm, comforting drink as you go, pick up a bottle of this. It's not too scary for the average beer drinker, but it's still rewarding for the most particular connoisseur.

Beers of the Year: 9. Cantillon Kriek 100% Lambic

Brewery: Brasserie Cantillon, Brussels, Belgium

Style: Lambic

ABV: 5%

Rating: 4.5 stars

I'll post my original review of the beer. Nothing has changed.

After enjoying the Flat Earth wild ale, I knew I had to take the plunge and try a real Belgian lambic. Cantillon has brewed this beer the same way, in the same barrels, for over 100 years, and is a well-known name. I figured it was a good one to start with, though at $10.99, it was the most expensive 11 ounces I've purchased yet.

Again, this is a fruit beer, and one that is fermented with live bacteria instead of the more sanitary yeast. Kriek is cherry-flavored, but not like cherry Jolly Ranchers. The wild yeast gives it a very sour aroma and taste, and the aftertaste is almost pure vinegar. It's a beer that even after getting used to, you may find yourself still wanting to spit it out occasionally. Not meant for chugging.

I, for one, and I'm the one who counts, loved it. Its ruby red color is entirely unique, and if you were closed-minded about beer, you'd say it was rotten sparkling cherry cider. But it's not. It's beer, and that is the beauty of it. I've had enough porters, IPAs, lagers, stouts and ales for a while. Lambics are a style completely off the map in the American beer culture, and while they wouldn't be the best idea for a once-a-week change of pace, every now and then they might hit the spot.

The Cantillon website boasts that the Kriek "tastes delicious with a big slice of brown bread with white cheese, radishes, onions and chives." It's true, radishes, onions and chives might have strong enough flavor to wipe the dry vinegar aftertaste off the roof of your mouth, but the aftertaste was part of the experience for me. Maybe now that I've taken one straight I'll feel free to dabble in food pairings next time. Next time I'm willing to fork over 12 bucks for a tiny bottle of rotten cherry vinegar, that is.

Beers of the Year: 10. Schneider Aventinus

Brewery: Weissbierbrauerei G. Schneider & Sohn, Kelheim, Germany

Style: Weizen Bock

ABV: 8.2%

Rating: 4.5 stars

The one beer this year that tasted nothing like it appeared--in a good way. And it's probably the most well-hidden 8.2% ABV I had all year too. Though I haven't had many, I have no doubts that this is one of the best wheat beers in the world.

The taste is beyond complex--dark fruits, subtle pineapple and banana with a smooth texture unachievable by most dark beers. There's the typical caramel taste, but it's hidden beneath so many other flavors that it's hard to pinpoint. There are cloves, other spices and a general sweetness that is extremely pleasant. It would take a thorough tasting or a few of these to clearly define even half of its characteristics. Drinking a few would be possible, too, because it's so delightful, but I have a feeling the alcohol content would hit you hard after a couple.

I knew I would like most of the beers to come on this list, but this one was a shot in the dark that surprised me more than any other in 2008. I'm sure it will be a recurring feeling throughout this top ten, but I want one of these right now pretty badly.

Best of 2008: Year in ReBrew

Tomorrow I'll dive into my ten best beers of the year, but today I'll dish out some category-specific awards as an appetizer. There were plenty of beers I loved this year, some I'd had before, some I hadn't. I tried to reserve the top ten spots for beers I had not had prior to 2008, with a couple exceptions. I had a hard time settling on ten favorites, especially after creating a rule that the same brewery wouldn't be represented more than once. So those beers that just missed the cut or got edged out on a technicality will have their day now.

The Classics

These are beers that I've had plenty of times and never disappoint, but didn't make the splash that the new-to-me gems did.

Guinness: an entirely unique beer, and one you can have a few of

Bell's Two Hearted Ale: the little microbrew that could has amassed wide popularity, and it's well-deserved

Fuller's ESB: still the best bitter on the planet

Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout: like drinking a cookie

Anchor Porter: my favorite Anchor beer, a very approachable porter

Best of the Hoppies

I've made no secrets that my favorite beers are ones loaded with hops. Dry-hopped, wet-hopped, Cascades, Centennials, Columbias, Sterlings, you name it.

Southern Tier Unearthly and Hoppe: at 8% and 11%, these beers get it done

Great Divide Titan IPA: perhaps the best non-imperial/double IPA

Avery the Maharaja Imperial IPA: blown away by my first imperial IPA

Tyranena Hop Whore: Hoppiest beer on this list

Struise Mikkeller (Elliot Brew): a collaboration between two of Europe's best breweries

Random Awards

Best Aroma: Two Brothers Cane and Ebel. Red rye beer with Thai palm sugar uses Summit hops and is dry-hopped with Simcoe. After opening the bottle I thought this could be the best beer of the year. Was really good, but not as good as the smell indicated.

Best Local Draught Staple: Summit EPA. Can find this almost anywhere in the Twin Cities and it's something almost every beer drinker can enjoy.

Best Twin Cities Brewpub Beer: Plenty of options here: Barley Johns in New Brighton, Great Waters in St. Paul, Herkimer, Rock Bottom and Town Hall in Minneapolis. The nod here goes to Town Hall's Masala Mama IPA, which has a more subtle citrus flavor, but a huge dry pine finish.

Best Holiday Beer: Anchor Christmas 2008. Gets the edge over Rogue's Santa's Private Reserve because of its unique aroma and flavor: dark deep fruits, almost like a mincemeat pie in a glass.

Best Summer Beer: Surly Bitter Brewer. Quenching and chuggable with a few hops thrown in. Really smooth.

Best Label: Tie between Bell's Hell Hath No Fury and Blanche de Bruxells of Brasserie Lefabvre.

The Skunk List: 1. Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit

Brewery: Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri

Style: Fruit Beer

ABV: 4.2%

Rating: .5 stars


We've finally come to the worst beer of the year, and it's a real treat. The most insulting beer I tasted this year, and I don't see any on the horizon that could touch it. I troubles me that there are two other flavors of this beer--the lime cactus and pomegranate raspberry varieties are actually rated lower at ratebeer.com. Much like LaCrosse Light, it hurts my brain just typing about this beverage.

Let's clear the air: I would never, under any circumstances, buy this beer with the assumption that it may taste decent. Or even average. That's not on my radar. I bought this beer simply because I wanted to see how awful it could be. Let me tell you, it overshot even my loftiest garbage expectations. I knew it was bad when the clerk at the liquor store, a young woman mind you, encouraged me to put it back on the shelf. I've seen Phillips tequila go without warning, and that, for my money, is the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. This beer is really that bad.

It's insulting on many levels, the first being that it just tastes horrible. Its low alcohol content and ridiculously low amount of calories make it so. This debuted at the tail end of the low-carb, low-calorie craze, so the demand was there. It also came out during this weird Tuscan obsession we all seemed to be going through, which is another puzzling story altogether. Why not capitalize on both? Tuscan orange grapefruit? Really? Who's buying that? Wow, did Anheuser-Busch load up on grapefruits and oranges from Tuscany? I've gotta try this! It's disgusting. This has less flavor than club soda. There is no grapefruit. There is no orange. There is no Tuscany. (On a side note, there's no Tuscany in Pizza Hut's bacon mac-n-cheese either.) All this beer has is a small amount of calories and some stomach-filling liquid. If you're counting calories, drink some water. If you're going for flavor, buy a vitamin water. If you want to get a little tipsy, drink something hard. If you want to puke, have this so-called beer.

The Skunk List: 2. City LaCrosse Light

Brewery: City Brewery, LaCrosse, Wisconsin

Style: Pale Lager

ABV: 4.7%

Rating: .5 stars

Very hard to find even a picture of this beer. So bad I'm not sure where to begin.

First, I'll start by saying that if this was a list based purely on taste (you could argue that it should be), this would be numbers 10 thru 1. Looking back on the 275+ beers I had this year, nothing jumps into my mind faster than Lax Lite when I think of crap in a can. In fact, after those sentences, I need to take a quick mental break before typing any more.

Let's start here: I had just consumed twelve, count them, twelve, cans of Blatz Lite. Now, this sets the bar quite low, seeing that only Wisconsinites and desperate poor Minnesotans participating in a case race drink Blatz. After the binge, I poured myself a glass of LaCrosse Light. Keep in mind how drunk I was at this point. I COULD NOT FINISH THE LACROSSE. Not only could I not finish it, I could barely choke down a sip. At the time: "Honestly could only gulp down one sip. Have to count it, though, because I'll probably never go for it again."

For a man who's had every skunky beer Minnesota and Wisconsin have to offer, those are big words. Think of every negative adjective in the books and this one had it: flat, face-clenching, spit-out-able--this beer created new horrible beer adjectives. I almost want to have another one right now just to remember how horrible it is. After all, how can you tell the good ones if you have no reference for awful?

The Skunk List: 3. Krasniy Vostok Bogemskoe (Bogemia Pale Beer)

Brewery: Pivzavod AO Krasniy Vostok (Efes Russia)

Style: Malt Liquor

ABV: 8.4%

Rating: .5 stars

Can this even be called a beer? Here's the ratebeer definition of a malt liquor: "Strong, alcoholic-tasting, often poorly made strong lagers. Esters, fusels and other products of undiluted high-gravity brewed beers are often commonplace. Properly served in the 40oz bottle with accompanying brown paper bag." This is a 40 in a beer bottle, essentially.

This explains so much.

Without question, the worst job of masking the alcohol in the history of adult beverages. Of course, it does come from Russia, so that gives us some insight. I really can't say much more than that about it. I get the feeling that this one might be available at a wider-selection beer store, so if you see it, go for it. Try it. It won't cost you too much, and you and your friends can gather round to see what the fuss is about. Maybe then you'll understand my absolute lack of words for this one.

The Skunk List: 4. Indian River Shoal Draft Pale Ale

Brewery: Florida Beer Company, Melbourne, Florida

Style: American Pale Ale

ABV: 3.7%

Rating: .5 stars

The first clue is the 3.7% ABV. That's pitifully low. Bud Light, by comparison, is 4.2%. This, my friends, is too close to gas station 3.2 beer for my comfort.

I vividly remember the night I first tasted this beer. We were lucky enough to have company, so 1) I could here various descriptions of this awful brew and 2) I didn't have to drink it all myself. From the journal: "Tastes like sewage. Of the non-lite, non-ice, non-mega brewery beers I've ever had, this is the worst. I hesitate to give it half a star." I kept the label to remember the horror.

I received two different beers from the Florida Beer Company (shady, right?) from my beer-of-the-month club, and have never seen any of their offerings in a local liquor store. Clearly for good reason. It should be brought into question how a "microbrew beer of the month club" would even steer itself toward this brewery. At last count, this beer had been rated 18 times on ratebeer.com and is nowhere to be found on beeradvocate.com. Very fishy.

The Skunk List: 5. Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat

Brewery: Boston Beer Company, Boston, Massachusetts

Style: Fruit Beer

ABV: 5.2%

Rating: .5 star

Sometimes the non-beer drinkers give the most dead-on assessments of a beer, and that was the case for this one. Kristie, my wife, who despises all kinds of beer, usually gets to sample mine in case she has something brilliant or funny to bring to my attention. With the cherry wheat, she was able to pick up a flavor that was nowhere near the forefront of my mind: urinal cakes. Once she said it, though, I couldn't get it out of my mind.

So does having a beer hater's opinion in your ear alter your opinion of a beer? You might say it does, but I've loved dozens of beers that Kristie would have spit out if I'd let her. It would be like taking marital advice seriously from Elizabeth Taylor. So I feel strongly that this beer would have made this list even without the urinal cake epiphany.

I've previously stated my enjoyment of the sour cherry kriek taste, and this cherry is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum--sweet but dull, heavy and smothering. It's sticky in your mouth and the coating stays for a while. I've been known to compare beers to cough syrup, but I won't slap that label on this one. It simply isn't that good, especially from a brewery that is very visible and up front about its ingenuity and high quality. This one doesn't fit the "Brewmaster's Collection" title they've given it.

The Skunk List: 6. Northern Premium Light

Brewery: Cold Spring Brewery, Cold Spring, Minnesota

Style: Pilsner

ABV: ??

Rating: .5 star

Looking back, this could easily be ranked the worst beer of the year, but as a low-carb light beer, that's predictable. So putting it at the top of the list would be boring. That said, Northern Premium Light was notably worse than even the worst beastly lights out there.

At its original time of rating, I called it "the most tasteless beer to date." That was in August, and if my memory serves me correctly, I would still describe it that way. In fact, the brewer's website describes it this way: "This beer is a lightly hopped beer with low body and a pale golden color." Lightly hopped? Low body? Pale golden color? Not exactly the best PR work here. And no, you can't buy a single bottle of this beer, though I've paid more for an individual bottle many times than I had to pay for an entire case of this. There's your sign.

Unfortunately, I had to offer this swill to my father-in-law after an evening of manly labor, something I was admittedly embarrassed doing. When I asked him what he thought of it, he said, "It's cold." That's really the best you can do. There are, as in the case of Harbin, plenty of drinkers out there that can do a much more eloquent job of describing these beers, and I strongly encourage you to read a sampling of them at ratebeer.com. Since this is a year-end recap, I don't have all the flavors fresh in my mind, so I have to rely on my initial notes and hazy memory. In this instance, I was as terse as possible in my original rating. So again, I'll let the raters take over.

heemer77: "Wow, this pours out of the can with a pale yellow that is not even straw. It’s like looking in a trough at a stadium and seeing the water washing away the urine. White scum of a head on top. The aroma is light vomit and corn flakes. There is also some petroleum based aroma, like motor oil. The taste is light corn flakes with a metallic finish."

jpm30: "Strange, unappealing nose, even for a light beer, that apple juice scent that so many Gluek beers have, corn syrup, metallic fusel alcohol. Active carbonation without the light body, more medium, watery feeling. Unpleasant taste, weak, watery sour apple juice, the thinnest of sweet pale malts, hints of boiled sweet corn, used up, tasteless hops, finishes with a big taste of metal. There is also an artificial sweetener twang in the aftertaste, making you want to wash your mouth out."

asedzie: "Aroma is rotting compost and a little bit of cigarette smoke. Flavor is light diacetyl with rotten vegetables. Watery palate. Putrid. Can’t think of any redeeming qualities to this beer."

The Skunk List: 7. Harbin

Brewery: Harbin

Style: Pale Lager

ABV: 4.8%

Rating: .5 star


Follow this lineage: Harbin Brewery was founded in 1900 by a Russian man. This beer contains European and Chinese Qindao Dahua hops and a German malt. The brewery is owned by Anheuser-Busch, who aquired it in a nasty battle with Miller. Put it all together, and you have one crappy beer. One that I originally tabbed as the flattest beer I'd ever tasted. A statement I won't back down from.

As this list continues, I'm realizing how hard it is to continually describe the qualities of a horrible beer. It's just an agonizing process to go over again. Like most Asian beers, it seems the label and packaging is more important than the taste, and now that i know they use Chinese hops it makes more sense. I don't like Chinese hops. So, since I'm tired of trying to conjur up metaphors for the invisible flavors, I'll let the most recent raters of Harbin at ratebeer.com do the work for me.

jerohen: "General lack of flavour..."

yesyouam: "It has a funky aroma, like vegetables, melon, alcohol and rotten fruit...It has a fusel flavor. It burns my nose...It was a challenge to finish this beer. It comes in a fancy bottle, though."

Dogbrick: "Nothing redeeming about this beer, it makes Tsingtao interesting by comparison."

badgerben: "Aroma of rice, dusted with moldy hops. Corny taste, finishing with a drop of skunk."

So I'm not the only one who thinks it's skunky.

The Skunk List: 8. Anchor Small Beer

Brewery: Anchor Brewing, San Francisco, California

Style: Small Beer

ABV: 3.3%

Rating: 1 star

This was my first real 'wow, I guess I know nothing about beer' moment. I usually quite enjoy Anchor beers; Steam is as drinkable as it gets and their porter is one of the best out there. This one, a new find for me, was a can't miss, I assumed. And cheap! Less than three bucks for a big bottle of Anchor beer was an unbeatable bargain. I found out why upon the first sip.

It had that cold, carbonated sting that made it only possible to take one small gulp at a time. You know how it's hard to chug a cold Mountain Dew because it has too big of a bite on the throat? This was the same way, except that instead of limey sugar this one tasted like a post-kegger mix cup or all the random half cups of beer left in the house. And with an ABV of 3.3%, what's the point.

Turns out a small beer, which are very few in number these days, is created by using the runoff from a different, stronger beer. In this case, Anchor's Foghorn Barleywine is the initial beer. Once that beer has been formulated, the remains are spruced up a bit and turned into this travesty. It is called, generously by the brewer, a bitter. This is more bitter than bitter. It's an orange peel that's been soaked in keg water for a few days bitter. In fact, the only reason this got one star, upon reflection, was the name on the bottle.

The Skunk List: 9. Minnesota's Brew

Brewery: City Brewery, LaCrosse, Wisconsin

Style: Pale Lager

ABV: 5%

Rating: 1 Star

This was one of those once-a-summer, back corner of the cooler kind of finds. Had to buy it simply because of the can (the one on the left in the picture). From the journal: "Probably deserves half a star, but I was feeling the skunk at the time." The can alone probably propelled it to the one-star level, and I seem to remember a couple friends and I struggling to finish off a six pack.

There isn't much description possible here--it was a gross, unflavorful beer that you'd need to have far too many of to get to a point where it would pass as drinkable. Maybe that's the test; how many beers needed for drinkability. There weren't enough in this six pack. The last rating on ratebeer.com, my site for beer research, says this: "Have 2 of these saved for when the Vikings reach the Super Bowl someday." Enough said. I guess tha's what happens when a beer called Minnesota's Brew is actually brewed in Wisconsin

The Skunk List: 10. Kronenbourg 1664

Brewery: Brasseries-Kronenbourg, Strasbourg, France

Style: Pale Lager

ABV: 5%

Rating: 1 star

Had this many times in my few months in London, mostly because I was poor and it was cheap. It's easy to see why. Not unlike most European lagers, your Peronis, Carlsbergs or Amstels, Kronenbourg has those unquenching bitter hops that usually taste more like river water than beer.

If it's cold, it's hard to choke down because the combination of the massive carbonation and the previously mentioned bitterness is too much for one throat to handle. If it's warm, it gets flat and slimy. If it's in the middle, it just tastes like lukewarm crap. Unless you too are on an indefinite beer quest, leave the Kronenbourg 1664 on the shelf.

The Skunk List: Worst Beers of 2008

Since we're hitting the close of the year, and since I love ranking things, I thought I could share some of the dozens of horrible beer experiences I've had this year. By my latest count, I've tried 247 beers this year, and tasted 26 more home brews or samples that I couldn't officially tally. Of those 247, 46 have received 1.5 stars or less on my five-star scale. Moral: when you're starting a lifelong beer project, there's going to be some severe skunk along the way.

Thankfully, I've gotten many of the classic skunk out of the way. Anheuser-Busch and Miller (Somehow Coors only sent one beer to this list) paved a new trail of putridity, but it's no fun to put Miller High Life Lite and Bud Ice in a worst-of list. So, barring one extraordinary exception, the 20 brews from the Beasts of Beer simply get an honorable mention nod. And here they are, with additional tasting notes from my original journal injected where I feel compelled.

Anheuser-Busch

Michelob Marzen: "If I bought the sampler and had three of these, two would never get consumed."
Michelob Pale Ale: "Says it's dry-hopped--possibly with garbage."
Michelob Golden Draft Light
Bud Light: "Honestly, not the worst I've had. Got me through a boring wedding."
Budweiser: "Haven't had many Buds lately. Not the worst."
Bud Light Lime: "Deserves no more ink than this."
Busch Light: "As far as mega-lites go, I like it."
Budweiser Select: "Yikes. Went from a 1 star to a .5 real quick.
Landshark Lager: "The domestic Corona."


Miller

Milwaukee's Best Light: "Pretty much as gross as it gets."
Miller Lite Amber: "Tastes like Miller Lite. Stay away."
Miller Lite: "You know the drill. For beer pong only."
Blatz Light: "Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever tasted."
Red Dog: "Only decent after 12 Blatz Lights."
Miller Genuine Draft 64: "This is NOT a beer. Tastes like river water. An embarrassment to men."
Special Export Light: "The original case race beer. It's bad, but not Blatz bad."
Miller High Life: "Champagne of beers only tolerable after winning softball league."
Hamm's Special Light: "Stunningly, not bad. A shock."

Coors

Coors Light: "The worst of the lights."


There were some mega-brewery offers that limped to the two-star or above level, so I'll give some credit here for those efforts.

2 Star
Pabst Blue Ribbon, Miller. It was one of the first beers I rated, had to leave room for a basement.
Rolling Rock, Anheuser-Busch. Barely reaching the almost tolerable stage.
Michelob Amber Bock, Anheuser-Busch. "This is what people who think they like real beer drink. It's not real beer, it's crap."
George Killian's Irish Red, Coors. A decent representation of a style I don't care for.

2.5 Star:
Shock Top Belgian White, Anheuser-Busch. Not a good Belgian white, but a more drinkable beer than most A-B.
Blue Moon Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale, Coors. Not a good pumpkin ale, but very drinkable.

3.5 Star:
Blue Moon, Coors. This was a great beer. In college. Has the sentimental value on its side.


Tomorrow I'll begin the real bottom ten in earnest. One a day.