The Beer Cruise: Puerto Rico

If I sound a little sharp in this entry, it's probably because I just watched my beloved Golden Gopher basketball team again look completely inept against a very average Michigan team. So there's that. And then there's this: I took in the game at Joe Senser's, a Twin Cities sports bar chain that fits a small, but widespread niche: dozens of wall-sized TVs and sporting events, greasy food and mass appeal beer. Not a favorite destination of mine, but it works well for a guys night out to eat.

Here's my beef. We arrived shortly before happy hour ended, and the $2.50 domestic tap special piqued my interest, only because Grain Belt Premium was on the (unpublished) tap list. After some minor inquiries, the waitress informed me that Premo did not fall under the "domestic" category, though it is brewed less than 100 miles away, in New Ulm, MN. Sure, Golden, Colorado is domestic, but classic Minnesota beer? Sorry. I ordered a Sierra Nevada and didn't bother asking whether the California-brewed cerveza counted as domestic. "That's not on special," the waitress made sure I knew. I nodded. "Yeah, I figured you knew that."

I sense a little beer snob oozing out of me. Most of the places I frequent these days offer coast-to-coast draughts, what one might call 'domestic,' and have a handful (if not more) of across the pond imports as well. Maybe it's too much to ask Senser's to change their happy hour wording from 'domestic' to 'garbage' for clarity's sake. I doubt their clientele demands the distinction.

Which leads me to Puerto Rico. If, hypothetically, a beer bar carried a Puerto Rican beer, would that qualify as domestic? I doubt it. I didn't plan on this segue, and it's a pretty rough one, so I'll end all attempts at a smooth transition here.

We arrived in San Juan, Puerto Rico, at about 5 pm of the second night of our cruise. I'd done some very brief research on the number of local beers produced at each of our destinations prior to departure, and wasn't expecting much of any of them. So when the only local beer offered at our first three stops was Medalla Light, I wasn't surprised. Call me crazy, but I gave it slightly higher marks than my peers at RateBeer, calling it "as drinkable, if not more so, than any domestic lite." It's important to note that no matter the integrity of a beer drinker, the circumstances under which a beer is consumed can make a difference. A Medalla Light on a cold February Minneapolis night probably would guarantee a spot on the year-end worst list. A Medalla Light in a courtyard cafe on a beautiful Puerto Rican evening rates a little better. I gave it a star and a half. It's clearly a terrible beer, but it tastes better in 80 degrees.

As we meandered back toward the ship, however, we stumbled upon a local brewery, Old Harbor Brewery. They offered five craft beers; the four staples included a light lager, pilsner, pale ale and stout, and the seasonal "taina" beer was a nut brown. I sampled all five, and when the bartender noticed me jotting down specifics and notes on a napkin, offered to send me home with some literature about the beers and brewery.

The Santo Viejo Pilsner was voted best pilsner of the south at the 2008 United States Beer Tasting Championships, and was quite nice. It was much sweeter than any pilsner I've had, and as one who isn't a huge fan of the typical pilsner hop, I enjoyed the contrast.

The Coqui Golden Lager was obviously their attempt to hit the modest needs of most social beer drinkers and I'm sure would do nicely in that regard.

Their signature beer, the Old Harbor Brew Pale Ale, was my favorite of the five. A delicate beer, one that required focused swigs to pick up the flavors. I do enjoy beers that have in-your-face flavor, but subtlety is almost more impressive when it's pulled off. This beer had a balance of floral fruitiness and mouth-sticking dryness, but didn't knock you over with either. It didn't blow your taste buds away; it required them to work a bit.

The Kolfresi Stout is the highest rated of the four standards on RateBeer, and it's not hard to see why. It has the depth that many serious beer drinkers need, but isn't a test of one's commitment to a task. You can drink a pint of it no problem. It struck me as a pretty standard stout, one you wouldn't necessarily tell stories of to your grandkids, but one I would have no problem drinking consistently.

The seasonal beer had been available for about a week when we visited, and is still unrated on RateBeer...I could be the first, which would be fun. I like nut browns, especially because they aren't easy to find. Yes, there's Newcastle, but the style does not have a lot of mass popularity. Maybe we'll see a boom in them in the next couple years, as craft breweries seem to latch on to the styles that are going unproduced at a particular moment in time. What I especially loved about this one was its smoothness. This was a beer that I think even the most casual beer drinkers could guzzle, because it doesn't overwhelm you with unfamiliar pop and it doesn't kill you on the back end. It isn't as complex as the meatiest brews, but if I wasn't in the mood for a hop bomb or a juicy stout, I think a few creamy nut browns would suffice.

It was a pleasant way to spend an hour in San Juan, and though I'll probably never return, I won't soon forget the experience of trying the best of what Puerto Rico had to offer.

The Beer Cruise: Part 1

I wouldn't necessarily call a cruise the best way to vacation, but after three uninterrupted months of Minnesota winter and a taxing day-to-day job grind, a cruise worked quite nicely. No, it's not exactly the way I like to travel--off the beaten path, eating street food and finding the non-touristy parts of touristy cities. You do get a bit funnelled in to a daily routine and programmed, pre-determined activities and specific, mass appeal cultural scenery. The drinks are a bit spendy, and far from stiff. The entertainment is, well...who am I to judge.

But a cruise is nothing if not relaxing. If you don't mind mingling with 50-somethings (and above--sometimes way way above), aren't too snobby to find enjoyment in an off-key, bad haircutted lounge singer, and can fend for yourself for a few hours in a dirty Caribbean port town, you might enjoy one. And you might be pleasantly surprised in the number of obscure beers you might get to try.

Counting the Minneapolis and Detroit airports, and including the four beers I nabbed during our one day in Fort Lauderdale, I chugged an astounding 22 new beers on this 8.5 day trek. Of course, once we left the continental United States, rarely were any better than average, but the cultural context in which the tastings took place evened up the score a bit.

So, sprinkled between the poolside pina coladas and the five-course dinner Italian wines were these islandy brews. I'll try my best to elaborate on tasting notes (many of which are still scribbled on food- and beer-stained napkins) with some general comments about that day's cruising events.

It must be noted that my trusty beer rating pen exploded on the plane prior to embarkment, and I was forced to use the crappy Costa Cruises pen for my reviews. Thus, many of my notes are brief, and frankly, after you've had a few Caribbean beers, there's not much more that can be said.

Day 1: Embarkment from Fort Lauderdale. The beer: Franziskaner Hefe-Weissbier. We boarded the ship at about 12:30, but couldn't check into our rooms until later that afternoon. What better to do, at that point, then check out the bar? Rhetorical. This would be my first chance to see the beer offerings on the ship. Not surprisingly, they were pretty limited. Mostly Buds and Coors, with a token beer from a few European countries that figured to be represented among the cruise's guests. This was a Costa cruise, an Italian ship that attracts many foreign-language speaking folk because of its multi-lingual entertainment and relaxed smoking policy. Maybe I was the only one who noted the latter, but to a no-smoking-anywhere-in-my-state Minnesotan, it was evident.

I'd had the Italian offering (Peroni--I was hoping for more), wasn't in the mood for something I knew I'd loathe (Beck's and Carlsberg), and didn't want to dive right into the unknown (Kotayk--we'll get to that later), so I took a stab at the weissbier. Without question, this was the best beer I had on the ship all week. I don't love wheat beers, and I have a hard time imagining one that would clearly outshine the rest, but there was no doubting the validity of the Franziskaner. It isn't weissbier weather in Minnesota, but when it's 80 degrees and sunny a wheat beer will do nicely. Let's put it this way: I'd choose a hefe-weissen over anything I've ever been offered in a slowpitch softball parking lot or on a lazy pontoon boat ride. The drinkability is usually high. As in, way higher than the self-proclaimed drinkable Budweiser.

Franziskaner is no different, and I particularly enjoy wheat beers that offer more spice than fruit, the anti-Blue Moon, if you will. This beer had good spice on the nose and lips and snaked down without skunky incident. (If my verbage has broadened, it may be due to the Hopslam I just guzzled.) Did this beer make me delve deep into my beer flavor vocabulary? Not really. Did it convert me to a full-time wheat beer guy? Definitely not. Was it worth the $5...plus 15% gratuity...plus 20% port tax? Because it meant I would be on a cruise for the next seven days, yes. It did, and it was. A solid 3.5 star beer.

January Stats

One month and 34 new beers down. I thought I'd have a harder time finding new beers now that I've knocked off many basics available in the Twin Cities, but new (to me) and seasonal ones keep popping up across the cities. It's easy to ignore a brewery for even a whole year, such as I did last year with Pennsylvania's Victory and am trying my best to do with Wisconsin's Capital. So, even if I'm not excited by what I haven't tried, it's still easy to find new beers. The amount of beers out there astounds me, and the options aren't shrinking. They're, like every other commodity in this country, growing exponentially. I have no doubt that it would be relatively easy to keep a 250-300 new beers a year pace up for a lifetime.

So, without reviewing any new beers in depth, I'll recap some of the highs and lows of my January, and spew out some nuggets for numbers junkies like myself.

Of the 34 new beers:

12 were imports, with Belgium leading the way with five new selections. My Unibroue sampler pack contributed two for Canada, but I'm trying to stretch that pack out over a couple months. One apiece for Australia, Western Europe, Germany, South America and the United Kingdom.

22 domestics: five from Colorado, four each from Wisconsin, Minnesota and California, three from Pennsylvania, and the rest scattered about. No need to get into specifics yet.

Out of five stars, my average beer rating for January beers was 3.13 stars. It must be noted that I had most of the mega-brewery crap last year, and those beers skewed my 2008 average of 2.79 a bit. Thus, an improved 2009 average was expected. Don't fret, I still kept room for a plethora of skunky garbage.

Some of us stat-masters would suggest that median, not average, is a more accurate stat indicator. Fifth-grade math lesson: median represents the middle number of a sequence, thus eliminating potential bottom- or top-heavy average skewers. My median rating for January was a 3.5, which suggests I had more above average beers than I did below average.

My most common rating of the 34 given out was, in fact, four stars, which I gave out ten times. More than a third of the beers I first tried this month I deemed outstanding, which bodes well for the future. We're getting to the point where I've tried most of the cheap stuff, and I'll have to spend a little more coin to get at the untasted. That, I would assume, can only mean I'm having better, more complex beer.

On to some monthly awards. The best beer I had this month: Struiselensis, a Belgian sour beer. I've decided that I love sour beers, lambics and the like. I guess I've always craved for taste-bud-challenging flavors, spicy or sour, and these beers fit the bill. This one has unapologetic tartness up front, like the sourest candy you could find. However, after the initial shock, it became as drinkable as any smooth summer beer. I love the clean flavors, the crisp bite and the lingering sourness. Plus, my wife enjoys them, which is far more than can be said for any other beer variety.

Worst beer of the month: Blue Diamond Lager. Scroll down to read of its unpleasantness.

Pleasant surprise of the month: Samuel Adams Imperial Pilsner. It's almost unfair to classify this as a pilsner, the hop intensity is so far out of control. I generally don't like pilsners, but I guess when you double the hop content, you thereby double my enjoyment.

Biggest disappointment: most of the winter seasonals I tried. Here's a quick list of those that didn't deliver, with some comments from my initial tastings. It must be noted that I fully expected the Leinenkugel's offering to be awful.

Leinenkugel's 1888 Bock. "Utterly horrible. Took my best effort to finish it."

Capital Brewery Winter Skal. "After four strong beers, this one fell way short." Not really even sure what that means anymore. I'm sure it sounded like a clear criticism at the time.

Schell's Snowstorm. "Tastes like every part of the process involved burning and over-cooking." The best beer on this list, just not a flavor I enjoy. It's become quite clear that I have no appreciation for Viennas.

Redhook Winter Hook. "Not very strong, lacking flavor, and a little too nutty." Sometimes you run out of things to say. A phenomenon you'd quickly realize if you frequented beer rating websites. It's kind of like Kate Winslett/Leo DiCaprio red carpet interview questions. Wait, haven't you been following E!'s red carpet coverage like I have? An indictment of marriage.

The Worst Beer of All Time?

It's a bit early in the year, you might say, for me to put a Schlage lock on 2009's worst beer, but I say no. In fact, I'm not stopping there. Blue Diamond Lager, supposedly brewed by Cold Spring Brewery in Cold Spring, MN, very well could be the worst beer ever produced.

I'll lay out the argument in a bit, but first, let's explore some opinions on the subject. I'm eliminating malt beverages, or 40s, because they simply cannot be included in any sane conversation about skunky beers. They are intended to be cheap and skunky, and their sole purpose is to get homeless people and college idiots drunk as quickly and inexpensively as possible. I know this because not long ago I was a college student who occasionally participated in such desperate acts. Anyway.

So, the masses have their word. A quick google search for "worst beer of all time" produces quite hefty results. A July, 2008, list on Rockthelist.com gives the nod to something called Billy Beer. After reading that link, I'll be visiting ebay upon finishing this entry.

Quick side note: many results of this search lead to message boards and forums regarding the worst beers of all time. I'm skipping them, settling only for firm lists probably written by bored college stoners posing as legitimate internet writers.

Second quick side note: it appears almost all of the results are message board and forum collections. Slightly disappointed none of the mainstream top-ten-list-heavy publications haven't picked this topic up.

If I remember correctly, Busch Non-Alcoholic held the edge at ratebeer.com, but that portion of the website isn't functioning right now, so I guess you'll have to take my word on that. Other common message board suggestions seem to always point back to Wisconsin--a version of Milwaukee's Best, a Miller product, something from LaCrosse, and I generally agree. I still remember a 30-pack of Milwaukee's Best Special Reserve Ice we saved for months in our college house specifically to give to underage kids we didn't like, and who didn't know any better, at our parties.

But I'm telling you, Blue Diamond Lager pummels them all.

How bad is this beer? Records of its existence are almost impossible to locate. It does not have a page at either ratebeer.com or beeradvocate.com, and is unrecognized by Cold Spring Brewery's website. A google search for Blue Diamond Lager returns almost nothing promising. But I promise you, it exists, and there are currently 9 unopened cans from a $4.99 12-pack resting lukewarm in a melted-ice cooler in Chaska, MN.

I knew this had to be the worst beer of all time because it lasted months in my college house (which held five beer-thirsty, uber-poor men) for months and outlasted beer pong parties, tailgating festivities and late-night paper inspiration binges.

I know this is the worst beer of all time because, though I know it will go unconsumed, it is a must purchase whenever I spot it in a liquor store. This past weekend in Winona was the first I'd seen it since those fateful college days more than three years ago.

I know this is the worst beer of all time because it serves as punishment for drinking games. It can be used as a test of one's manliness and pain threshold. Its taste cannot be likened to anything, because there is no other edible product on this planet that tastes as bad.

I know this is the worst beer of all time because the only place I could find a picture of it was on a website dedicated to obscure beer can collecting, just below Blitz Light and the generic Beer.

And I know this is the worst beer of all time simply because the sensation that overwhelms your senses upon tasting is something that cannot be described, nor can it be compared to any other tasting you'll ever endure. I wish I could put this more eloquently, but the simplicity of this statement should radiate with clarity: Blue Diamond Lager is the worst beer I've ever, and will ever have.

January Snackers: Domestics

I wasn't sure I could make it, but I went four consecutive days without having a beer. Let's just say I'm rewarding myself tonight. In the meantime, here's a brief recap of some of the best domestics I've had this year.

Victory Prima Pils

Victory
Downington, Pennsylvania
5.3% ABV
3.5 stars

I guess I was too busy hammering Bell's and Surly last year to really get into Victory, but the third of their offerings I've had this year (and I'm probably tackling Old Horizontal and Storm King later tonight) was probably the best pilsner I've ever had. Apologies, of course, to Pilsner Urquell, but the flavors were unbelievably clean in the Victory, which I had on tap at Bryant Lake Bowl. Nice and grassy, with a large dollop of bitter hops. Pilsner definitely isn't one of my favorite styles of beer, but I liked this quite a bit. It's easy to see why Prima Pils ranks among the top ten pilsners at RateBeer.

Avery Old Jubilation Ale

Avery
Boulder, Colorado
8% ABV
4 stars

Via friend recommendation. Lovely winter scene on the label, for starters. This beer had a terrific round flavor--you could taste layers from the time it hit your tongue til the moment it splashed your stomach. Chewy, thick, but with a nice spicy hop kick. A beer that has a bunch of alcohol, but is disguised quite well. Plus, the Gophers were en route to a shocking overtime victory at Wisconsin at the time of consumption, so it gets an extra boost there.

Great Divide Hibernation Ale

Great Divide
Denver, Colorado
8.1% ABV
4 stars

Strong. This flavor would survive a simple rinse of the glass, I think. It's dense and rich; very malty. Not a lot of bite in it, but it's meaty enough to take up an hour of your time and not feel laborious. Would serve well as a nightcap, as it has that pleasant warming feel that we all enjoy around midnight.

Samuel Adams Imperial Pilsner

Boston Beer Company
Boston, Massachusetts
8.8% ABV
4 stars

So, if Prima Pils was the best pilsner I've sampled, how does this one get an extra half star? Check the alcohol content amigo. This is massive. I'd never even heard of an imperial pilsner when I saw this on the shelf, and I was skeptical upon purchase. Remember, I'm not a huge pilsner guy to begin with. I guess you can add me to the imperial pilsner facebook group, though, because this baby satisfied me to no end. It reminded me in flavor a lot of Surly's Bitter Brewer, heavy on the citrus, but about five times as strong. Had a buttery texture but somehow was still quite crisp. I loved the extreme bitterness up front, and fear that this could be a dangerous beer to drink in mass quantities. Good thing it's sold in four-packs, because six of these would equal one large morning headache.

January Snackers: Global Edition

I've decided to go on a mini body cleanse, something I convince myself to try every few months, and am trying to stay away from beer and other chemicals this week. These breaks usually happen right before I know my body will be taking a toll; in this case, it's a throwback kegger with the boys on Saturday, followed by a massive Super Bowl bash the next Sunday. Not long after, I'll be aboard a Caribbean cruise ship for a week. It's not exactly the healthiest of schedules. This week, and potentially the weeks in between events, will be dedicated to purging and cleansing.

Luckily, I reserve the other 48 weeks of the year for complete body negligence, and have a decent reservoir of early '09 reviews I can tap into. I'll hit a few today (you can call them something more catchy than January Snackers if you'd like) and save a few for later. Since I'm only doing mini reviews, I'll link the beers to their corresponding RateBeer.com pages if you'd like more information or opinion.

Verhaeghe Duchesse de Bourgogne

Verhaeghe
Vichte, West-Vlaanderen, Belgium
6.2% ABV
4 stars

A Belgian sour ale, a traditional Flemish red ale--call it what you want, but this one's spunky. I'm beginning to think that I can not just tolerate, but love this wild yeast stuff. I sampled this one at The Bulldog Lowertown in St. Paul, which is an expansive, fresh spot to get some good beer. Not the longest list of beers in town, but it's roomy, and the option of getting a flight of beers is nice. The waitress couldn't tell us the order of the flight, but an astute nose could figure it out. If you don't think you have one of those, ask the bartender. Staff's beer knowledge is a bit lacking.

Anyway, the beer had the vinegar sourness, but was sneaky sweet. One person in the group described it as a liquid sweet tart. I wouldn't go that far--if you dove into a glass of this with on the condition that it tasted like candy, you'd be in trouble. Unless you coat your candy in vinegar I guess. A good beer nonetheless.

Coniston Bluebird Bitter

Coniston
Coniston, England
3.6% ABV
3.5 stars

Part of the same sampler as the sour, this English bitter obviously didn't pack the same potency, but subtlety can be a huge strength in a beer. This one smelled of honey and sweet rum, and the honey was a huge component of the taste. Very nice thin texture. If you're looking for an approachable bitter, and one that you could drink a few pints of, this could be the one. The subtle sweetness balanced out the bitter component, and for a low-content beer (3.6%), the flavor was outstanding. Make sure you get the cask version, though, it looks from the reviews like the bottle doesn't go down quite as well.

Unibroue Blanche de Chambly

Unibroue
Chambly, Canada
5% ABV
3.5 stars

Unibroue sampler packs are beginning to pop up all over the place recently, and I received one as a Christmas gift from a co-worker (love co-workers who do their homework). It's not exactly the best time to dive into a Belgian White, but it's a beer-drinker's responsibility to be able to assess a beer objectively despite the circumstances.

Big froth on this one. I know it's called head, and I could use a finger measurement, but this really did remind me of cappuccino froth. Classic spicy witbier smell. I enjoyed the color spectrum especially on this one, from a dusty lemon peel to cloudy melon. Drinking this beer in the proper glass allows you to fully appreciate the multiple senses a beer can tickle.

There was definitely more fruit than spice as far as taste goes, and if you're not a fan of wheat beers, well, you know to stay away. But on the right day (maybe a Saturday), and in the right place (maybe on a boat) this beer could be perfect.

Eisenbahn Defumada

Cervejeria Sudbrack
Blumenau, Brazil
6.5%
2.5 stars

My first Brazilian beer, and one of the few smoked beers I've had. Right off the bat, I'll tell you that it's no Surly Smoke, nor is it close. But it's not bad. The smell was strangely sweet to me; I couldn't stop thinking about tangy barbeque sauce. Sweetness came through in the taste, with some caramel as well. It was good for a few sips, but I labored to get the whole bottle down. Eisenbahn is beginning to show up in Minnesota (I bought this one in South Dakota of all places) so maybe I'll give it another try.

Samichlaus Bier

Brewery: Brewery Castle Eggenberg, Eggenberg, Austria

Style: Doppelbock

ABV: 14%

Rating: 4 stars



No misprint: 14% alcohol. The self-proclaimed 'world's most extraordinary beer' hit shelves again late in 2008 as the world's highest-content lager. So, how do they achieve this insane content level? Well, the beer is brewed once a year on December 6, then fermented slowly over the next ten months. There is a more complicated and technical beer-speak explanation, but just imagine what would happen to any food you kept in the fridge for ten months. You can imagine the strong character it might develop.

Samichlaus is the perfect example that a beer's color has no direct correlation to its strength. You could put this beer next to a Killian's Irish Red and I'd bet it would be difficult to tell the difference. It's a light-deflecting red--remember, it is a lager, not an imperial stout.

I was pleasantly delighted at the aroma. My first sniff yielded a potent alcohol kick, but when I dipped down again, I found many subtle touches. I swear I smelled Greek olives or some kind of vinaigrette, but I could have just been hungry. There was definitely some sparkling white grape, though, and the intense sweetness had some acidic balance to it. Certainly I caught a whiff of caramel.

The taste was pure sweetness, though it took a few minutes to settle in. It's unfair to take one sip and make any proclamations, and this one had me reeling off the bat. Like the aroma, the alcohol kick was substantial--maybe not in the mouth, but going down the throat. It burned like the hard stuff does, and for a second I thought I might need a beer chaser. No matter, I pressed on.

The taste, as I found, improved as the glass emptied. As a skeptic, I must entertain the idea that this was because my level of intoxication was jumping dramatically each time I took a swallow. Did that have something to do with my increasing enjoyment? Maybe, but who cares. If a beer can get me buzzed enough during the course of 11 ounces that I change my opinion of it, doesn't that by definition make it an outstanding beer?

It, for the second half of the glass, tasted like I was drinking liquid caramel. Not the first taste I look for in a beer, but by no means was it unpleasant. You might think that a 14% beer would be borderline undrinkable (think of all the terrible high-content malt beverages out there), but the long fermentation process presumably gives this beer its smoothness. It does have a lingering taste in the mouth that isn't the most friendly, but it makes up for that with a nice warming burn that is welcomed on a winter's day. And the alcohol content was disguised quite well; I've had 8% beers that did worse.

Without question, this was a terrific experience for me. It will go on my mental mantle of beerdom next to the other classics and strange beers I've tried. Not the best beer I've had and not close, but was it the most extraordinary?

No, I guess not.

But I still liked it.

Tyranena: Rocky's Revenge and Devil Over a Barrel

Tyranena made a pretty big splash this fall in Minnesota, and it's continuing into 2009 for me. I loved their IPAs they released in the warmer months, but waited until the bitter cold (-17 today in Minneapolis) to sample the heartier stuff. Last night I destroyed the Devil Over a Barrel, an Imperial Oatmeal Porter with Coffee Beans, and tonight I'm tackling Rocky's Revenge, a Brown Ale.

I'll start with the Barrel. Couldn't find a picture of it, but it's part of the 'Brewers Gone Wild!' series that has produced a number of bud-challenging offerings. Barrel is no different. As soon as I dislodged the cap, I was transported to school mornings growing up, when I'd wander sleepily into a coffee-stained kitchen. The coffee smell was beyond potent.

As a non-coffee drinker (the childhood kitchen scarred me), I was concerned. How could I possibly enjoy a beer that tasted so strongly of beanage. The first few sips were challenging, but by the halfway point, I could barely put the glass down. I guess I'll attribute that to the oatmeal aspect of the beer. I can't quite explain it, but it's as if the oatmeal was a smooth bridge from the tip-of-the-lips coffee taste to the spicy throat tickle. That middle portion of the drink was so smooth, it didn't matter what the front end tasted like.

It's good to have an outstanding porter. Imperial porters are especially difficult to find. I feel like porters would be an easy transition for people who enjoy beers like Michelob Amber Bock or fake darks of that nature. They are smooth, potent, and packed with flavor. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this one as a starting point, but once you have an appreciation for the style, Devil Over a Barrel is a must.

As for Rocky's Revenge. This beer is a year-round Tyranena option, and fairly priced. It's tabbed as a brown ale, with 'a portion aged in bourbon barrels.' I don't have many brown ales, and they too aren't very prominent these days (four versions of Surly's Bender are currently among RateBeer.com's 25 highest-rated brown ales). Newcastle is a common brown ale that comes to mind.

Well Rocky's Revenge is a good one. I didn't get much of a sniff on this one, and it took me a few sips to get a handle on what I enjoyed about it. There's definitely bourbon in there, but nothing overpowering. I really grasped onto a wonderful sweetness that was present in every gulp, a nice vanilla cream that you can't help but like.

There's no comparison between the two beers when it comes to potency, and Barrel is clearly a more complex, rich beer, but Rocky is an easy drink and one I'd offer to any average beer drinker. I pounded it in a half hour, and that was while I was typing this. It's a good gateway, as they say, to get to know unfamiliar kinds of beers. As far as ratings go, I'd give Devil Over a Barrel 4.5 stars and Rocky's Revenge 4.

Rochefort Trappistes 8

Brewery: Brasserie de Rochefort (Abbaye de Notre-Dame de Saint-Remy), Rochefort, Belgium

Style: Belgian Strong Dark Ale

ABV: 9.2%

Rating: 4.5 stars

What happens when you have this beer that in your mind you've always considered your favorite beer of all time. You keep this beer in your back pocket, not drinking one for a couple years while you develop some beer tasting and rating chops. You buy it in mid-December, pencil it in as your New Year's Eve nightcap, ideally topping off the best beer-drinking year of your life with the best beer of your life. Except do you really want to have your favorite beer--and rate it for the first time--when the ball drops to midnight, after you've had multiple drinks and clouded your overall (not to mention beer-rating) judgment? I guess not.

So my long-labeled favorite beer of all time sat in my fridge for a month, until last night.

But what happens when your favorite beer of all time is no longer your favorite beer of all time? It is sort of a mindset-altering experience. Even though when I was asked the all-time question, I would always preface Rochefort 8 by saying 'I'm not quite sure it still is, but I've always considered it to be...' And maybe that's why I didn't rate on in 2008. I didn't want to know. Didn't want to have to potentially change my mental rankings.

There's a very easy parallel to be drawn between this reluctance and my reluctance to knock clearly inferior, but sentimentally meaningful songs off my all time favorite songs list. Sure, maybe with my keener ear and more mature understanding of music a Get Up Kids emo-ballad doesn't stand up to a TV On the Radio psych-out. Maybe a Grain Belt Premium doesn't have the full-bodied flavor of a Bell's Third Coast Old Ale. But maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe sentimentality still has a place in ratings, and the power of pleasant memories should be included in the final tally.

Maybe I can still convince myself that Rochefort Trappistes 8 is my favorite beer of all time.

But no, I can't. There are too many good beers out there that just plain taste better to justify putting this one at top simply for poetic reasons.

I almost feel like I can't really even rate the beer at this point. I'll try. The first signal I received last night that maybe this wasn't the beer I remembered was its color. It pours a muddy, murky mahogany, so hazy that no light in my house could puncture it. This color of beer usually does not bode well for my taste buds.

It smells quite strong, and smells more like adjectives than it does actual identifiable scents: warm, deep, dark. There are definitely some dark fruits in there; figs, cherries, but mostly it smells like it looks. A bit daunting.

The fruits come through in the taste, and I can picture a friend of mine sensing a bit of cough syrup in this one. It is highly carbonated, which is a nice way to balance the bold flavor and high alcohol content. If you feel like you're drinking something sparkling, it really can't be that strong, can it? Mixed reviews about the prominence of alcohol, but if I can't taste it outright, I definitely know it's there.

The most pleasant characteristic about this beer is the wonderful burn it leaves. It's warming like a cognac, setting your mouth, esophagus and stomach ablaze. A nice second taste in every swallow. After a bottle of this, I wouldn't say you feel refreshed, but you do feel satisfied.

Maybe it isn't my favorite beer of all time, that potentially dubious honor now falling to Orval. But this is still a really good beer, and a must-try for anyone looking to broaden their beer palate. And perhaps I'll try another one in a couple years, forget about its old sentimental value, and leapfrog it back to the top.

Victory Battle: HopDevil vs. Hop Wallop

HopDevil

vs.
Hop Wallop

Two of my first beers of 2009 happened to be two hopped-up offerings from Downington, Pennsylvania's Victory Brewing Company. I decided to pit the two against each other without prejudging them based on any of the beer ratings websites. I'll attack the competition from the various components of beer rating, and in the interest of space I'll refer to them as 'Devil' and 'Wallop.' The 'Hop' seems a bit redundant.

Appearance: Devil comes out quite cloudy, darker than orange but not quite to the candy cherry level. Let's call it light ruby. I tend to use ruby as a beer color quite a bit. Wallop is much more golden, while still cloudy. The color spectrum runs from pure gold at the bottom to a sort of amberish-melon at the top. Wallop definitely has the larger head of the two, but neither stick around for long. Edge: Wallop.

Smell: Devil reeks of floral hops, as you can imagine. It's much the same as many IPAs out there, and although I don't want to bulk them all together, this isn't an aroma I haven't smelled before. Wallop gives me a little more complexity. Yes, those monster hops are instantly present, but there's a sweet side to this one, maybe honey, that I didn't detect in the Devil. With that said, if my nose could subconsciously gravitate toward one smell, I bet it'd pick over-the-top hops. Edge: Devil.

Taste: Well. I must say off the bat that neither of these would rank among my top ten hopfuls, and that is disappointing. Devil's flavor actually made me raise my eyebrows a bit. It was, without exaggeration, like eating a fresh hop right off the plant. I didn't get any citrus, no sweetness, and not much depth. A potent kick to the taste buds. Wallop wasn't as blatant, and had much better balance. It's crispier and brighter at the start, but slows down to a smooth butter. And the hops are bold enough. Plus, there's a bit more alcohol in this one. Edge: Wallop.

Mouthfeel: I like Devil here. It has a huge pine finish and leaves the palate quite dry, which I love. Wallop is dry as well, but it's much more smooth going down than it is clingy. Edge: Devil.

Drinkability: As I said earlier, you won't find either of these on my best of '09 list (already thinking about it). Therefore, I wouldn't seek either out at my local beer store in favor of a different staple. Wallop is a seasonal, but Devil is available all year. They're both drinkable. They're both decent. I guess I just like Wallop a bit more. Edge: Wallop.

Final tally: Hop Wallop 3, HopDevil 2. It's really not that close for me. The difference in taste is enough to sway the whole argument.