Founders Curmudgeon Old Ale

Brewery: Founders, Grand Rapids, Michigan

Style: Old Ale

ABV: 9.8%

Rating: 4.5 stars



Had a crabby day at work today, so I commiserated with a fellow curmudgeon. I've stepped away from the finer beers of late, substituting pound-able but passable basketball-watching suds instead. I'm also going through this phase where I'm overly possessed with proving to myself that I can go a night or two or three without a beer, and my tasting and rating has suffered immensely. Sadly, one of the only new beers I've tried in the last couple weeks was a Heineken Light. I guess I didn't taste much of a difference.

Anyway, this experiment has had a couple side effects. I feel fine on those nights I choose (practically force myself) not to enjoy a brew or two, and know I can do it. Stage one of alcoholism passed swimmingly. However, once I've tallied a few days of sobriety, I cut loose. For example, this past Friday was a forgettable and largely forgotten binge of garbage calories that led to a stone sober Saturday, which nobody wants. With that said, I feel great during the week. There's a void when it comes to finding a sense of accomplishment or achievement at work, so the sobriety, I guess, substitutes.

Am I doing this for health reasons? To slow the inevitable sinking of the gut? Or am I out to prove to myself that I still have willpower--that I can ignore the 30 delectable treats staring at me each day I come home? And if I'm flushing it all away when I am satisfied with the fasting, was the fasting worth it? I go back and forth, but right now, I'm back to where I feel I can treat myself nightly, and plan on starting tonight with this Founders.

I've a brain that rarely powers down, but this Curmudgeon should help.

The appearance is akin to the most pleasing barleywines; ruby turning to magenta to caramel. Not much head, and none of it lasts. When I swirl the glass, it rocks like a relaxes quickly, and doesn't seem like it will coat my mouth so that dinner winds up with a curmudgeonly aftertaste.

It's a bully of a sniffer. I dove in a half dozen times and each time found another layer. It's geekily layered; a Sufjan Stevens tune and a David Lynch flick. (Side note: you see what happens when I realize I'm no good at picking out specifics in a beer. I resort to wild metaphors and pointless side notes.) I'll try. There's brandy. Port wine. Obvious alcohol presence indeed. Sweet, intensely sweet, and more than just the clumped-together dark fruits and caramel. It smells stiff and warm, but has the life that a big stout might not.

I hoped the taste would recall memories of Bell's Third Coast Old Ale, and it does. It's just a beauty of a beer. Barleywine-ish? Yes, but this Old Ale business makes it sound so much more majestic and regal. The caramel (word of the review) stick is there, and it gets better as the beer gets warmer. Beer drinking for dummies advice of the day: let the beer warm. Drinking a beer at different temperatures is revealing and rewarding. There's the alcoholic surge that must exist in a nearly 10% beer, but it's delicately disguised. I feel it, know it's there, but can't find it. It passes the chug test, too. Drinking this one sip to sip is great, but a giant swallow doesn't overwhelm.

So easy to drink, this one. I planned on it lasting me through dinner, and it would serve as a wonderful dessert drink, but I don't think it will make it to either. Luckily, I've got a Fuller's Vintage I think I might pop tonight as well. Not sure what it is about this old ales; it's the combination of potency, drinkability and mystique that has me ball and chain. This one is dragging me.

Beer Madness

A full Saturday of basketball (after a full Thursday and Friday) seemed like the perfect time to spend a day boozing and blogging. You've heard of beer pairings with food, but today I'll be pairing beer with basketball, taking into consideration how my brackets shape up as the day progresses. Low percent hoppers when things are looking up, bog-downing stouts when the brackets kick me in the pants.

1:13 pm: After UCLA was blitzed by Villanova, I felt like punishing myself for overvaluing tournament guile and senior guards. No worse punishment than a lukewarm Bud Lite courtesy of a fridge-emptying friend. Off to a blazing start.

2:52 pm: Memphis/Maryland looks to be a blowout, but we've got UConn/Texas A&M on tap, with a diehard A&M fan on hand. Looking for something lightish but with some flavor to pick me up after a couple BL smoothies. Grab a Sam Adams White Ale from the mini fridge.

3:24 pm: Memphis 53, Maryland 33. UConn 29, Texas A&M 11. Games aren't shaping up as we'd like, so we've entered a pact to try as many different beers today as we possibly can. The three of us have each already tallied three, and there are serious talks of hitting a dozen. Meanwhile, the White Ale doesn't deliver what I expected it to, but recently my witbiers have been spicier than they have fruity. This is definitely more fruit than spice. Everything is subtle. It is refreshing, but in this couched-out, flatscreen basement, it's hard to get into a summer beer mood.


4:42 pm: Tipoff between Purdue and Washington, the most anticipated game of the session. Pairing that with a Southern Tier IPA. I picked up this one in Hudson, WI, because for some reason, the 12 oz Southern Tier beers don't come to Minnesota. We only get the big bottles, which are generally outstanding, but I wanted to try one of their standard offerings. Fundamentally sound game, sound balanced beer. Has a nice earthy quality that balances out the hops quite well.

With each of us starting our fourth beer, the prop bets/side action is picking up. We've agreed on ten pushups per dunk, and money has begun to make its way out into the open, a visible tease for any potential gambler.

5:04 pm: Almost done with the IPA. This one's smooth and drinkable. Too drinkable for a basement dudefest.

5:12 pm: Three consecutive Blake Griffin dunks in the Oklahoma/Michigan test. 30 pushups. Pretenders falling to the side of the road.

5:15 pm: Beer's flowin', pushups galore. Dudes posing in the mirror. Gettin' crazy at 5:15.

5:30-6:15 pm: MGD buffer.

6:38 pm: Beer #7: Stella Artois. Not a favorite, but running out of options to get to 12. Saving the good stuff for the gourmet dinner.

7:29 pm: Beer #8: Summit IPA. Not the hoppy California style IPA, this Euro recipe is meatier, creamier and sturdier. If you can allow yourself to break free of the hopped-out IPA mindset, it's a good sipper.

Monday evening: Never made it to 12 beers.

The Best of Late

Been watching too much basketball lately to dedicate time to post. This doesn't mean I've slacked on the consumption. My stash is dwindling, though, and I want to make it last as long as I can, so I've been leaning toward the wines and the liquors more as of late. With that said, I've had some great beers recently, including a well-respected beer that didn't disappoint. Here's a
mini rundown of the best stuff I've had recently.


New Glarus Wisconsin Belgian Red

Brewery: New Glarus, New Glarus, Wisconsin

Style: Fruit Beer

ABV: 5.1%

Rating: 5 Stars


One of the best beers in the Midwest, and certainly the best fruit beer available. I imagined it would be akin to a Belgian kriek-like cherry bomb. Quite wrong I was. New Glarus uses one pound of Wisconsin cherries for each bottle (not your 12 oz. sixer bottle, mind you) and it's evident in the pungent aroma.

I was slightly worried when I realized this wasn't going to be as tart as the sour beers, because I typically loathe cherry-flavored things. In fact, the Sam Adams Cherry Wheat was one of my least favorite beers I tried in 2008. But this cherry was different. It had immense sweetness, but not like a Popsicle or sucker. It was sweet like the gooey inside-the-pie cherries, a real richness that couldn't be faked by synthetic flavoring. There was enough tartness to keep the sweetness at bay, though, and the late sparkle scraped my mouth so that I was ready for another sip.

Kristie and I enjoyed this one together, and it's exciting to me that I now have a better grip on the types of beers she might enjoy. I wish they didn't cost $10 a bottle, but it's exponentially better to enjoy a beer with company.

This beer (and the myriad of other New Glarus crafts) are well worth the 45-minute drive to Wisconsin, and I plan on making semi-regular trips from here on out.


New Glarus Crack'd Wheat

Brewery: New Glarus, New Glarus, Wisconsin

Style: American Pale Wheat Ale

ABV: 5.95%

Rating: 4 Stars


Prior to my whimsical February jaunt to Hudson, I'd had only one New Glarus beer--the infamous Spotted Cow. Thought it was below average and not worthy of the hype I'd heard from my Madison brethren. I had no idea they had as expansive a line of reign-free beers as they do. This one sounded interesting, and both employees said they'd had it and were pleasantly surprised.

It's an interesting idea. It is, basically, a wheat beer. But it's also dry-hopped with amarillo hops. To dry-hop a beer means to introduce hops after the fermentation has begun. It's a way to give the beer an extra hop kick and bring out the characteristics of the specific hops used. It's a pretty common tactic, but this is the first I'd heard about a wheat beer being dry-hopped. Though gimmicky, the idea sounded quite interesting to me, especially because wheat beers generally all get lumped into the same clovey/spicy/orange-peely heap for me.

It tastes exactly how you would imagine. The smell is all spicy wheat, and wheat is obviously the base of the beer. But the amarillo hops kick in toward the middle of each gulp and leave the beer's lasting impression. The beer is bottle-conditioned, another common brewing practice meaning the beer finishes the fermentation process in the bottle. Always a plus, and it usually guarantees a large frothy head, which I happen to enjoy.

Potentially the perfect summer beer, though later tonight I plan to enjoy their Berliner Weiss, which I've heard is phenomenal. Light as a wheat with the bold hops of a pale ale. I foresee many more of these come July.

Stone IPA

Brewery: Stone, Escondido, California

Style: India Pale Ale

ABV: 6.9%

Rating: 4.5 Stars




It's all basically been said about IPAs. We love the citrus, love the dryness, love the hops, love the mouthfeel. This is no different, and it's an excellent representation of the style. I know I've had it in the past, before my tastes were honed, so I wasn't surprised to like it again. Had to go to Wisconsin to get it, which makes no sense to me.

Tuesday Night Hop Battle

Drank not a drop Sunday or Monday. In this economy, as is the catch phrase, a two-day hiatus deserves a reward. Since I'm a hop guy, I decided to try a couple of the hoppier options in my collection.

First, the Lagunitas Hop Stoopid. Lagunitas, as of a year ago, was fairly limited in Minnesota. Or maybe I just wasn't noticing them. Recently, however, their brews have been popping up everywhere. I liked the IPA, was lukewarm on the Brown Shugga, and could not handle the Maximus IPA.

The Hop Stoopid was the best of the bunch so far. The aroma represented everything I love about juicy hopped-up beers. The pungent citrus, in this case grapefruit and a strong passion fruit presence, gets me revved up to swig. I really took a deep sniff at this one, because I knew I grabbed something specific (the passion fruit), but it took me a while to realize exactly which of the 'fruit cocktail' canned fruits it was. For once, I knew I had a smell nailed, and it comes from 2.5 years at a preschool. Good-sized head on this one, with the lacing disappearing more than some. Looks like orange jello, which again, I can attribute to preschool experience.

The taste was exceptional. Big and sturdy on the front end, with the citrus holding sway. The key, though, was the back, when everything felt like it was being sucked out of your mouth and down the hatch via the bitterness. My mouth was full one second and dry, sticky and empty the next. I love that in a beer. Give me some boom right away, take it away and leave me wanting more at the end of every sip. This beer is sharp like a nasty cheddar cheese.

As the glass emptied, I felt a bit more metal in every taste, but I think that had more to do with the compounding bitterness than the deterioration of the beer. Overall, this was one of the more satisfying beers I've had this year. I'd put it at the top of the hops, at least.

Next, Founders Centennial IPA. This much-heralded brewery does not sell its beers in Minnesota, and I am ashamed that it took me this long to cross the border into Wisconsin to buy some. Oh, the places you'll go! (Dr. Seuss' birthday yesterday).

Nearly all Founders brews come highly recommended, and Centennial is no different. To be fair to the Hop Stoopid, I should have opened the Founders Double Trouble, but I wasn't sure I could handle another double IPA. Unfortunately, the Centennial IPA couldn't match Hop Stoopid's power.

Lately I've been tasting a lot of what I can describe no better than dust. It tasted dusty. Maybe that means the flavors weren't as clear or crisp as I'd like. Maybe that means the mouthfeel was a little fuller and stretched farther into the buds than most. Or maybe it means that I got a peculiar amount of mothballs in the flavor. I swear I tasted mothballs.

Don't misconstrue those words. Mothballs, yes, but the flavor was still good.

Still. I'm finishing the glass as I write, and the dust factor overpowers everything else. I wish I could express it better. I guess I'll have to head east again, but a couple more bottles, and try them next to a more favorable competitor. In fairness, it probably would have stacked up well next to the Lagunitas Maximus, and maybe even the Lagunitas IPA. It just couldn't hang tonight.

Saturday Snippets

I had been bracing myself for weeks for what was planned for last night: a trip into downtown Minneapolis' Shout House, one of my least favorite destinations in the cities. In fact, it's been quite a while since I've ventured downtown on a Saturday night; more recently than my college days, but not by much. It's just not a scene I particularly enjoy. So many obstacles. Who's driving? Where are you parking? Cab home? Bus? Designated Driver? How much is the cover? How packed will it be? And certainly not least of all, will there be any decent beer available? And no, Heineken doesn't count.

The Shout House specifically annoys me. I understand why it's a popular destination: Dueling pianos, rowdy atmosphere, central location. I just don't like paying eight bucks for the right to get sweaty waiting in line for a $6 Rolling Rock and be blown away by airplane-decibel, amusement park talent. Thus, to avoid tricky circumstances and careless spending, I volunteered to be the night's driver. I was ready for the challenge.

The call came at about 7:30 that the night's organizer had to bow out due to immanent illness. Since Kristie and I were already geared up for a night on the town, we didn't want it to go to waste. But without the ring leader, the Shout House was quickly eliminated from the itinerary.

After kicking around several potential destinations, we settled on the Lyndale/Lake St. part of town, where there are several decent options available. I was especially intrigued by the new sake brewery, Moto-i. Indeed, the first sake brewery anywhere in the world outside Japan. Reviews have seemed generally favorable and I knew their draught list was decent, so I imagined it might be an enjoyable and culturing experience.

We arrived about 9:30 to a fully-bellied bar and restaurant, and were told by the host we might be able to find a stray seat. We weren't, and were stuck in an awkward point of buoyancy; not committed enough to wedge our way between barstoolers, but not intending to order food and therefore denied a table upstairs. There was, however, a back room that was 75% empty. The tables were marked as reserved, but we asked the waitress if we could sit there anyway. She had no problem with it, but pointed us back to the host, who informed us that it was reserved for a private party. I said we would happily leave when the party arrived, but there were at least six available tables at the moment, and people were leaving the room already. Still he denied, with a half-assed smile and half-hearted apology. I guess I wouldn't turn away a customer these days, but that's me. I imagine if we had just sat down without asking, we would have been fine, but this is Minnesota, and people are generally accommodating if you ask.

We left, annoyed by insincere efforts and an overall haughty attitude by the hosts (there were at least three of them at the door). I hope this place succeeds, but it will not be because of my patronage. Shame.

We pressed on to the much more inviting, laid back vibe of the Herkimer. I often forget about the Herkimer as a local brewpub option, despite the fact that it's by far the closest to my house. Their beers are generally straight-forward and can be punchless, but they are interesting and a little more atypical than most. Plus, the food is outstanding (save the mini egg sandos). We had no problem ordering drinks, didn't feel uncomfortable standing around, and soon found ourselves a table, where we would be met by two friends.

I first tried the Alt, a style of beer that I'm utterly clueless about and formed no preconceived notions about appearance, smell or taste. I guess I'm still a bit unsure. Lighting is always an issue in a busy weekend bar scene, but the color appeared a bit coppery; not amber, but not pale either. They likened the beer on the menu to a German pale ale, and some of the classic German hoppiness was there, I guess. Overall, it was pretty bland. I wrote on a piece of scratch paper (I really need to be more prepared for these tastings), "very spiked dullness." Make of that what you will. It was like they wanted to blow dullness out of the park. Didn't leave much taste anywhere on the palate. I will say, however, as far as drinkability goes, it was a champion. Easily could have guzzled a few pints of these without thinking about it.

I moved next to the Sky Pilot Kellerbier, an unfiltered beer that I liked more than the Alt. Much more golden in color, with a much more present punch to all senses. Reminded me of their pilsner, but with a slightly more enjoyable hop for my taste. Good roundness in the mouth and carbonated well. Had a nice dry finish. Again, props to Herkimer for producing off-kilter beers and seemingly doing true versions of them. They are hard to place in my mental beer spectrum, and maybe I'm punishing them because I have no similar beers to compare them to. I really tried to figure out how to write the previous sentence with a preposition, but each version sounded laborious and unnatural. Does anyone follow that rule anyway?

Finally, we found ourselves at Bryant Lake Bowl, a Minneapolis legend and great spot to wind down for the night. They have a decent tap list, though I wish they had more seasonals. Kristie loves it because they have Ace Pear on tap (for $5.75, though!). I tried the Rogue seasonal, which the waitress called an anniversary beer. This is maybe my biggest beef with beer bars--not all, of course, and not every employee--but if you work at a place that could potentially attract beer geeks, you need to know the beers. I need to know the beers. When I had trouble pinpointing a Rogue Anniversary this morning, I called back to enquire further and was told it was the Rogue Anniversary Mogul.

This beer does not exist on Rogue's website. RateBeer has a Rogue Mogul Ale with 131 ratings, but the BeerAdvocate Mogul 2007 has just four. Still, Mogul is not listed on the brewery's website. Nevermind. Mogul Ale it is.

An American Strong Ale, apparently, and I'm not sure I like the style. It's sort of a wide category, though, but this one was malt heavy, and the sweetness that was prominent in my nostrils did not show up in my mouth. I was disappointed by that. For the malty power it had up front, it finished quite bitterly. It was a bit confusing to me. I like the dry, bitter aftertaste, but I don't know if I love it after such a hearty malt opening. I think most beer junkies would consider it the best beer I had all night, but I'd probably rather have the Herkimer Kellerbier.

Morals: Don't go to Moto-i expecting red carpet treatment. Don't go to the Herkimer expecting taste bud warfare. Don't go to Bryant Lake Bowl expecting precice beer identification. Go there, have a few decent, uncommon beers, relax, relax, and tip your waitress.